


The First Time I Saw Red

by 0xabad1dea



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crimson Flower, F/F, Gen, black eagles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 23:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20479475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0xabad1dea/pseuds/0xabad1dea
Summary: Edelgard learns about the power of the Divine Pulse after an especially close call.





	The First Time I Saw Red

**Author's Note:**

> I like the canon-suggested idea that Byleth's pronouns are they/them, but I personally was imagining feminine Byleth as I wrote.

Edelgard awoke from a nightmare which was the same as many others and yet also different. She had been dreaming of the most recent deployment of the Black Eagle Strike Force. It had been just a skirmish, really. Those under her command suffered a few injuries, but nothing Professor Manuela couldn’t manage with her white magic. And yet – Edelgard had seen a moment from that inconsequential skirmish begin just as she remembered and end wholly different.

She recalled clearly that in the real battle her axe had cleaved right through some poor barely armored man. He fell to the ground soaking in his own blood; perhaps it had not been such an inconsequential skirmish to him. In the dream, however, Edelgard’s grip on her axe had slipped at the worst moment. The scruffy man sidestepped her and plunged a dagger into her side. The pain and the rush of blood had all felt so real. So clear. Even now as she stared at the ceiling, she felt as though it had truly happened.

Edelgard had been suffering nightmares of this sort more and more often. Each was the same in that they were all about her falling in combat. They all took place within the dream-mirror of battles she had truly fought and in places she had truly been. Each one was different as to what went wrong. Sometimes it was a lance thrust into her back. Sometimes it was a sword strike she didn’t anticipate. It could be a mistake wholly of her own making or some cruel chance outside her control. In every case she knew she would die.

The very last thing she had heard before waking up was the voice of Professor Byleth calling out for her. Edelgard sat up in her bed as she thought over this. Many, perhaps even all of these nightmares had ended with the professor’s voice ringing through the pain.

The young emperor stood up. Perhaps these dreams were preferable to the ones about her lost siblings. Perhaps this was all her subconscious going over ways she had almost made a terrible mistake. If that was the case then she knew she ought welcome these visions of the almost-past, no matter how disturbing they might be. Edelgard von Hresvelg, the Flame Emperor, could not afford any mistakes.

The slight glow of dawn cast just enough light for her to pour a glass of water from the pitcher on her desk. Edelgard looked out the window at the walls of Garreg Mach Monastery. Hubert had protested, back when they had first driven the Church out of their own fortress, that Edelgard should relocate her quarters. He reasoned that the enemy would know just where to look for the sleeping emperor should they stage a night raid. He even tried to convince her that she deserved better than a student’s dormitory anyway. Hubert did have a point – as he always did – about her safety. In the end however Edelgard had refused to move. Her room in the dormitory was the first place that had ever felt truly her own. She also felt quite safe knowing that Professor Byleth was downstairs.

Edelgard pulled her heavy bright red cloak off its hook and simply draped it over her nightgown. Her hair was an absolute mess but she likely wouldn’t see a soul. She knew she needed to go out – to remind herself that she wasn’t trapped, that she was free and pursuing her future. Pulling in her cloak against the cold, she stepped barefoot through the dormitory hall and down the stairs. Even the Emperor of Adrestia just couldn’t be bothered with shoes from time to time.

She went out to a certain stretch of the monastery walls with a lovely view of the forest far below. The faint dawn-glow made everything seem soft and insubstantial. Edelgard had come here many times before, ever since the days when she had been a proper student. She stood there with her arms crossed under her cloak and stared out to the horizon.

Edelgard heard rapid footsteps. She reached for her axe as she turned but she had no axe. She’d been so caught up in her musing that she’d gone out unarmed! A dimly seen shadow leapt at her. Edelgard was knocked down to the hard stone, her assailant atop her.

Something loudly struck the cobblestone right by Edelgard’s ear. She instinctively turned her head and saw a shattered arrow shaft rolling away. A heartbeat later, the person atop her relaxed and sat halfway up. “... I did it,” they said in a shaky voice. “I… I made it back in time.”

Edelgard forced herself to draw breath. “P-professor?”

“Don’t stand up. There might be another shot.” Professor Byleth rolled off Edelgard. “I really… thought I wouldn’t make it this time.”

Edelgard got up on her knees, sheltered by the crenellations of the wall. “Professor, I… thank you, but… how did you know I was in danger?”

Professor Byleth seemed to be shaking all over. “Hubert woke me up, I’d never seen him so distraught. I knew before he even said anything what must have happened. I–” They stopped abruptly. “I mean…”

Edelgard stared at the professor as she tried to piece this together into sense. “Hubert was  _ distraught?  _ Because I stepped out for air? He knows how often I do that!”

“Ah, no, he–” Byleth pressed their hands to their face. “I shouldn’t have said that. Pay it no mind. You are safe…” They shook only harder.

Edelgard rarely felt irritated by the professor but she felt so now, even just moments after they had saved her life. “It takes a hell of a lot to make Hubert ‘distraught,’ professor! I really must insist you tell me what happened!”

Professor Byleth sighed, leaning against the high lip of the wall. “... All right. Perhaps I should have told you long ago. Hubert, he – he woke me up and told me you’d been found out on the walls. Blood everywhere, it’d, it had seeped into all these little cracks…” They ran their fingers along the cobblestone. “It looked like it’d been at least an hour. Too late even for the most powerful of white magic.”

Edelgard could not help but look at them as though they were speaking nonsense. “But that never happened! I’m right here, professor.”

Byleth shook their head. “I’d gone back a minute, five minutes, maybe ten… but over an hour? I didn’t think it was possible. But I… I made it. For you. I can’t lose you.”

Edelgard wondered if she had hit her head so hard on the way down that she was now hallucinating. “Professor, you’re making it sound like – like you ran backwards in time.”

Byleth slowly nodded. “I’ve… done this many times. When you are hurt. When Hubert, or Petra, or anyone really… when something… terrible happens. The first time I ever did it was that morning when I met you. When the bandit chief charged you and I intervened. What you remember was my… second attempt.”

Edelgard did remember it well: the moment when she realized her oh-so-clever plan might be the end of her. How foolish it seemed to her now several years later. But Professor Byleth had stepped in – even if they did technically ruin the whole plan. “I’m sorry, but how could that be possible? How could anyone, even you, undo time?”

Byleth looked away from her. “I am the Beginning. Or at least part of me is.” They stood up and looked out beyond the walls, waiting for another shot. It did not come. “The goddess you are fighting to abolish, she – we – are on your side.” They held out their hand to help Edelgard to her feet. “Sothis never meant for Fódlan to go down this path. I think she wishes she could change it all, but… not even the Divine Pulse of the Beginning can undo so much time and so many regrets.”

“So… so…” Edelgard froze up with a paralyzing chill. “I only still exist because you – you keep fixing all my own foolish mistakes. With the power of the very goddess of the enemy.”

“... El.” Professor Byleth took both of her hands. “We face so much danger. We fight so many battles. You could never make a single mistake and still die. Many times. In fact, you–” They looked aside. “You have. And every time, it hurts so much to see it happen. I go back and prevent it but I never forget what I saw. I’ve… seen almost everyone I know die at least once by now.”

Edelgard was jolted by these words. “But professor… your father…!”

“… I tried.” Byleth let Edelgard’s hands fall and turned away. “I went back but it happened again. And again. I could not find a way to prevent it. So please…” They fell silent for a moment. “Please keep being careful. I would shatter the heavens to save you, but maybe someday even that won’t be enough.”

“My teacher…” Edelgard truly did not know what to say. “It seems I owe you far more than I already supposed.”

Byleth turned back to her with that ever-so-slight smile. “You know, when I met you – it was a lot like this morning.” They reached out to straighten Edelgard’s cloak on her shoulders. “And when I saw you… it felt like the first time I saw red. A whole color I had never known.”

Edelgard blushed. “My teacher… let’s find a path to a future we will never want to undo.”


End file.
